He Still Makes Miracles
Encourage and uplift others. Share your story!
He Still Makes Miracles
Encourage and uplift others. Share your story!
For the past few years I’d been going through a darkness in my spiritual life unlike anything else I’d ever experienced. Things were pretty rough. I’ve been a Christian for a long time and I’ve been through dark places on my journey before. Testing is part of growing. I accept that. But this time, I felt like God had forgotten all about me. It was the longest and darkest period ever. It was the kind of darkness that makes you think you must have done something wrong and you were being punished. Only I had no idea what I had done and I know God doesn't work that way. I kept holding on to Scripture verses that reminded me that God would not leave me or forsake me, and the one where God tells Job “Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth?” to remind myself that God’s plan is bigger than me, but it was hard. Really hard.
Then, one average day in November, I had a random thought to get a haircut. Now mind you I had no intention or thought of getting a haircut when I got up that morning. It was a completely random and impulsive decision. I didn't have an appointment and decided that, if I got to the salon and my stylist wasn't there, I was just going back home. When I arrived, she was there. A few other people were in the waiting area as well and as we all waited patiently, a young man came in for a haircut as well. While he was waiting, he was going on and on and on, preaching about God to pretty much everyone there. He was loud. I wasn’t in the mood for loud. I was annoyed. I knew the way I was feeling was all me, dealing with my darkness, and he was in a different place spiritually than I was, but in my mind, I said to myself, "yeah right, just wait until you've been a Christian awhile and God tests your faith. Just wait until God goes silent on you, buddy. Faith isn't so easy then." I was feeling pretty cynical and a lot like Job, so I decided to take a walk in the shopping plaza and I ended up walking around in a Bath & Body Works store.
The store staff was very busy stocking shelves and every which way I turned, I seemed to be in the way. I was bumped into, backed into, and had my foot stepped on. At that point, I felt like screaming “What am I? Invisible???” The store employee who stepped on my foot apologized profusely and asked if she could help me find anything but I just said no, thanked her kindly and left the store. It was about time for my haircut anyway.
Once I got back to the salon, it was my turn for a cut and who ended up being seated in the chair next to me? The same guy. And now he's going on and on with his stylist but she seemed to need what he was saying, so I could tolerate it better. I felt its purpose.
I made small talk with my stylist and told her I was really glad she was there. She surprised me by telling me she had almost quit that morning. She'd had her keys in her hand and was walking out, but her boss convinced her to stay. I told her that I was really glad she had. I have a difficult time finding people who can cut my hair well. She told me she really needed to hear that. Suddenly, the preacher guy turns to me and says "Is your name Rita?" It's not, so I wasn't sure he was talking to me and I didn't respond. He said, "You. Is your name Rita?" and pointed at me. I said, "No. My name is Renae." He said, "Well God wants me to bless you today. He told me that you need a blessing and I am to give you one. I'm paying for your haircut. And how much do you want to tip your stylist?” I thanked him for his generosity and told him he was kind, but I wanted to tip my stylist myself. He insisted and decided to tip her $20, saying he thought God wanted him to bless her too, which was more than the cost of my haircut. Yeah, I go to cheap places. Probably why I have a hard time getting a good haircut. Anyway, my stylist started crying with gratitude. I think she did need a blessing as much as I did. Then he told me God wanted him to tell me that He loves me and He sees me, that God knows sometimes I feel invisible but He sees me and He loves me and He hasn't forgotten me.
Okay, I admit that really broke me. I knew that young man was speaking to me with the voice of God. There is no way that he could have known that I actually do feel invisible most of the time and that one of the Scripture verses closest to my heart is Genesis 16:13. It's in the story of Abraham. His concubine, Hagar, has been exiled with her son, Ishmael, into the wilderness and is suffering with complete anguish and fear over what is going to happen to them. God promises to take care of her son, and in turn she would be taken care of too. She replies with "You are the God who sees me" as her name for God. The first time I read that, I cried. I knew how she felt. It’s been one of my names for God for a really long time too, because most of the time, I feel that He is the only one who really sees me. I’ve never told that to anyone. I’ve never told anyone that I often feel invisible. Overall, I've considered that invisibility to be a gift. It’s easier to be observant and to see the big picture, which I find very useful. But sometimes it gets kind of lonely. On this day, I was feeling the loneliness of it. So, I knew this was God speaking to my heart. I thanked the young man for his words and for his willingness to respond to God because I really needed to hear what he said. My heart felt like a heavy burden had been lifted from it. He promised to pray for me and I have prayed for him and thanked God for him as well. I will never forget him.
On my way home, I tried to call all of my friends to tell them what God had done for me. No one answered! My heart was so full of joy that I was bursting to tell someone and everyone was too busy! It wasn’t that all of my struggles had suddenly disappeared. They definitely had not. I’m still dealing with them today as I write this. But those words gave me the strength I needed to carry on. They were manna in the desert, a tiny flame in the deepest darkness, and something I had desperately needed. And NO ONE was there to share my joy!
In my frustration with not being able to tell anyone, I remembered other times when God had shone a light into my darkness and given me a miracle. There have been many. My thoughts led to the idea that there should be a website where people can share stories like these because when God intervenes in your life like this, you just want to shout about it from a mountain top. At least if there was a website, I thought, there would be a place where you could tell the world when you can’t tell your friends or when telling your friends doesn’t feel like enough. And maybe with a website, we can remind each other that God is still with us. He is still here. He does still care. And He still makes miracles. Praise God!